Divine Appointments

Hola, faithful readers!
       Boy do I wish I had more space to write here. I know I've taken my sweet time getting this blog up, but hopefully can explain myself before the lynch mob forms. Haha! At any rate... here goes!

      I have to confess... I've had a hard time these past few weeks. So may of my Americanized ideals of "results" have clashed, as it were, with the reality of my life here. I mean, I'm here as a "missionary," right? And logically, that would imply that as I walk down the street my shadow itself has the power to heal people. Right? Wrong! I cannot really even explain to myself what "missons" means. Where did we get this idea of being a "missionary" from? I know exactly how it goes. Believe me. You watch a moving video clip, someone mentions something about those darn starving children in Africa, or whatever. And there it is. You've received your "calling" from God. I mean, if you really want something, it has to be a holy and righteous calling. We're talking about starving children in Africa, Thailand, Laos, Mexico--wherever!--for goodness' sake! How can helping them not be the right thing to do? But, when you hit the ground, metaphorically speaking, those moving video clips seem really far away.
     I wanted results. I wanted them now. I wanted to be saving people. That, after all, is the missionary calling. Right? Ah! But if you look at those three sentences that began this paragraph, you'll see where the problem is. I'm using the first person singular--ME. And any time you begin to find yourself talking like that, do yourself a favor and (in an isolated area so no one locks you away) go ahead and slap yourself across the face. It's not about ME. The eternally-elevated, all-powerful "I AM" is not named Alyssa. I got turned around somehow in the midst of everything here. I forgot that it's not a question of why am I here--it's a question of who.
     Who brought me here? Who is the one in control of things? Once that gets straightened out... sure, you can ask why. But I'll tell you, you probably won't get an answer. Because the funny thing is, God is the eternal why. I'm talking from experience here. You will drive yourself completely and hilariously insane if you start blubbering to God about "why". Why, God did you bring me here? Why are things the way they are? Why can't... And off you go as if God owed an accounting of Himself to you. Rather, ask God a question that will ultimately answer every other question: "Who are you?" It is the most powerful, the most important question you will ever ask. And the answer will change your life. I promise.
       This question is what has slapped me across the face, as it were, and brought me back to what is real here in Mexico. I'm not exactly used to the whole eternal time scale thing. I grew up in the world of microwaves, online degrees, and instant mac 'n cheese. The thought of waiting for something literally makes me nauseous at times. But time and again over the last weeks, God has been really speaking to me about what it means to follow Him. Because I'm not working towards a goal here. I have no "quota" of lives to save. Jesus does not have me punch out at the end of the day. I'm following a real, living person here in Mexico and I am on His schedule.
     Take a look at Elijah, for example. We're introduced to him in 1 Kings Chapter 17. The entire palace court would have been in session. Imagine everyone dressed in their finery, discussing lofty ideals of politics and current events. When suddenly, the door is thrust open. The room falls silent. Standing in the middle of the most expensive doorway in all of Israel is... some hick from Tishbite. He probably even had an accent to boot! Every mouth in the room would have been silent--just imagine the shock at the sight of him. Yet, for all of the awkwardness (I probably would've mumbled something about "oh... just looking for the bathroom" and ran!), this guy opens his mouth. And oh my, does he speak with a power much greater than he should: "'As the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.'" Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but according to the Israeli system of government, the king was the official "servant" of God. Even the high priest, politically at least, answered to the king. Now look at the way Elijah phrases it: "the God of Israel," "whom I serve." It's interesting to me that he put the "Israel" in. I mean, for crying out loud--he was talking to the king of Israel! In saying it like that he draws a circle around himself and God, and by his manner of speaking declares that the king himself has fallen outside of this realm. The hick standing in the midst of this outraged group of royal somebodies has just put himself in the place of highest authority under God. Wow!
     What next?! Let's have some explosions! Bring in a helicopter! Send in Jack Bauer! I mean, we've got the real deal here--a prophet, with authority, operating in full cooperation with the spirit of God, ready to take on the world, full of ironclad faith. What next? Oh boy, what next!
     That's where the story used to lose me. God said to Elijah, "'Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, East of the Jordan. You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there." Are you kidding me? Go hide? By a brook?! The mighty man of God who just usurped the authority of the king of Israel? His next divine appointment is to go on vacation? Ewwww... What a waste! Think about it! The people would've seen that God was the true God--it really did stop raining! Imagine how many souls Elijah could've been out saving from day to night! They would've had to build a baptismal the size of a baseball stadium to fit them in. Doesn't God see? Does He not understand what He's missing out on?!
      Have you never thought that way? I bet you that if you were honest with yourself, you would have to agree that at first glance God's assignment here seems... pretty lame.
       Thanks be unto God, however, that His ways are not our ways. Over the next three years Elijah did essentially nothing. Well, OK, he went to a widow's house and with power from God raised her son from the dead and there was the whole jar of oil bit, but that's peanuts compared to what "could've" been. Yet, here's where we have to stop and ask ourselves something: was Elijah any less of a prophet of God when he was hiding beside the brook? I mean, really, we like to applaud and cheer when he busts through the palace doors shouting out "Thus Says the Lord!" But was he any less obedient at the brook? The answer is that the only thing that made Elijah the icon of faith that we now take him for is that he heard the word of the Lord and obeyed. He was no less important in God's sight when he was at the Kerith Ravine then when he stood before all the prophets of Baal in the next few chapters. Can we Americans really handle this? Elijah was one of only two Old Testament icons to stand with Jesus at the Mount of Transfiguration. Now you can say that he was in Heaven or whatever and logically would've already been with the Lord, but not even David got to see Jesus face to face. Honestly! This little country boy who probably smelled a little off, spent a chunk of three years hiding beside a brook, and then ultimately fled at the height of his fame and essentially asked for permission to die in a cave in the middle of nowhere? Him? Surely God meant to bring some mighty warrior forward to the mount but pushed the wrong link and hit "send." Right?
      Wrong. God looks for an obedient heart. Elijah's heart was obedient to the word of the Lord. And even when he does royally screw up later on, he shuts himself away in a cave and talks to God about it. Wow. This is what God values. Elijah was faithful in the "little things"--something as humiliating as waiting for some dumb bird to bring him bread--and God then entrusted him with the "big things," like bringing an entire nation to its knees to confess that God alone is the Maker of the Universe and will have no competition.
     So if you find yourself today struggling with the "why" of life, feeling like you're not doing anything important, feeling like you're completely useless, wondering how on earth it can be that God is using you... congratulations. You're on the right track. Now you're ready to start asking real questions. Who is your God? Because if you're praying for results or a big ministry, the odds are that those things are going to end up competing for the Lord's place in your heart. Follow Him! Maybe he has sent you to your own brook for a while to wait on the Lord. Go there in obedience! Humble yourself so that he can exalt you. And trust me, I'm right here with you. I feel like the most worthless, impotent "missionary" in the history of mankind. But thanks be to God that it has nothing to do with me! If I were some awesome speaker, or really had magic powers to heal people with my shadow--where would there be room for God to work? Rather, when we can honestly see that we ultimately have nothing to offer, we are free to offer ourselves.
      Stop trying to offer your talents, your goals, your whatever. God doesn't need it. He has chosen to need you. And until you will offer yourself, He cannot bless you as He wants to. God has chosen to entrust his Name, his reputation, his workings in this world--TO US! I mean it. If God wanted to evangelize the whole world He could. If God came in power right now I promise you every tongue on earth would confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. But he has chosen us! He has chosen us to work in such a unique way that each one of us has a different calling, a different purpose. And we all pass through different seasons. But never forget that there really is an Architect behind it all. And if you find yourself like me passing through a "quiet time," that is to say a time when you feel like you're not doing enough, remember that God is in control. If you are faithful in the small things, He who called you really is faithful to fulfill every promise He ever made. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him! God is alive. He is moving. He is working in you whether you like it or not. And it is His working in you, ultimately, that will fulfill the Great Commission to go forth and make disciples of all nations. Our obedience to God is what makes the difference. And obedience is simply seeing the Father at work and saying, "Yes, Lord, I'm with you." I encourage you to open your hearts to hear the word of the Lord for YOU. He's got something to say to you right now. Will you listen? Are you ready for your own Divine Appointment?





"another fine bit of writing brought to you by yours truly"